A Three Paragraph Paper on Pooh Bear

Context: I don't know when I wrote this, but I do know under what circumstances. I was assigned to write a paper on Winnie the Pooh, and hated it. Pooh Bear comprised a significant and nostalgic part of my childhood, and ironing him wrinkle-less and dead in pencil lead and cold analysis didn't hold much appeal. Yet, required it was. 

Here is the surprisingly satisfying (given the circumstances) result, unedited from the original:

A Three Paragraph Paper on Pooh Bear (Me)

Oh bother. Seeing as I am a bear of very little brain, I don't know quite how to begin. Oh dear, did I spell that right? I don't have the slightest idea. Do you have any honey?

Christopher Robin was reading a book to me; owl's tree makes a cozy spot for hearing his stories, and eating honey. And then the story came to life. There was a real Alice, and a real rabbit, and even a real hole that alice, poor dear, fell into. After we were done, I asked Christopher Robin, I said "Christopher Robin, why does the book say Alice has yellow hair? It looked brown to me." And he said "Silly bear. That is what the author, the man who first saw the story and wrote it down, thought her hair looked like. But maybe it changed between him and you, and that's why it's now brown."

We put the book back and I looked at him. I said "Christopher Robin, did they make you read this for that thing called Skool?" And he nodded. "Oh. Oh dear. Did they make you write something?" And he said "Yes. And then I saw Alice shrink and shrink until she fit on the page and then she became flat and colorless and her hair could have been brown or yellow, but I couldn't see because she was grey. I got sick. They had to send me home early." Oh dear, I thought. "Would you like some honey?"