How to Survive the Stupid Idiot Apocalypse

So this is a post about the upcoming election, as you could tell from the title.

Kidding. (God, please help us.) 

So my sister recently got called both "stupid" and an "idiot" during a friendly discussion (on her end). Evolution vs Creationism, I think. Something trivial. 

Regardless, when I found out, I was furious. Who would dare? My sister? Stupid? Pff. She's been cleverer than us for years. I imagined challenging this kid to a duel, with the glove across the face and everything. It'd be red and black. It'd be epic. And my sister would be respected forevermore. 

Anyways, she was frustrated. (Understandably.) So I'm writing a guide to Surviving the Stupid Idiot Apocalypse- AKA How to Defend Your Position in Debate. This will come up, no matter who you are. This are general guidelines I try to follow, and as anyone who knows me can tell you, I debate a lot. :) 

1) Know what you believe. Especially what pertains to whatever you're debating or discussing. If you don't know beforehand, i.e. someone randomly strikes up a heated conversation with you, DON'T PANIC. Chill, bro.

2) Know why you believe it. You may be the biggest supporter of whatever, but if you don't know why, how can you expect someone else to follow suit? Knowing why you believe something also helps your pursuit of truth: you either realize it works with reality or it doesn't. Hint: If it's the latter, and you've given both it and yourself time and energy to figure it out, you may need a different belief system. 

3) When you're debating with someone, go in with a clear, chill attitude. You don't know how they're going to act. You may as well keep calm. Emotions never really help you win a debate; they just cloud your thinking. Plus, a calm opponent is a scary one.

4) If they're being impolite, not wanting to hear what you have to say, or insulting you to get you annoyed, you have three options: walk away, stay if they'll chill out, or hash it out. Regardless, if they're resorting to interrupting or insults, odds are you're in the right, or they have a weak argument. That's why you don't want to stoop to that level-- it's a last resort for people who can't see any other way to beat you.

5) If you get told you're wrong, think about it. Are you really wrong, and if so, how can you learn from it? 

I once had someone tell me I was wrong because I was too young, and would get it later. Well, I'm a lot older than then and my position on the topic is stronger than ever. You're never too whatever to have an opinion on something you care about. 

6) If you don't know the answer, it's the end of the world. Armageddon. Kidding, again; nobody knows the answers to everything (except God, but He doesn't have to debate with anyone. He just reveals Himself and we fall, stuttering- no, speechless, and awed.)

If you don't know the answer, ask a question. Socrates was great at this, and when the people couldn't beat his arguments, they made him drink poison. Remember #4? Consider yourself warned. Anyways, read some Socrates. If that's too dense, check out The Best Things in Life by Peter Kreeft. Way funny, way cool. Later, if your opponent's argument is bugging you, search out an answer to their challenge. Ask people who know more than you, and who know less than you. Both will know something you don't.

7) Practice. You're gonna win some, gonna lose some. Just practice. 

And when someone calls you Stupid Idiot, smile, because it means you just presented a pretty good argument. Maybe they'll think about it later.

Guys, we aren't trying to be right. It's okay to be wrong. We're trying to understand. Don't sweat it. But seriously, don't anyone call my sister a stupid idiot... 

You have been warned.